


in the darkness, we wait without hope

by yongz



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Murder, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Life Is Strange, Kidnapping, M/M, Mild Gore, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Murder, Serial Killers, Small Towns, Suspense, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28115313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yongz/pseuds/yongz
Summary: In the sleepy town of Winden, Huang Renjun is just an ordinary teenager. Until, he's not. One night after a storm, Renjun gains mysterious powers.Then teenagers start to go missing. Their bodies turn up an exact week later, mangled and tortured. The town is small, these are all people Renjun knows.Now Renjun is thrust in a race against time to find out what’s happening in his town, and to save his friends.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> heavily inspired by life is strange, but does not follow a similar plot.
> 
> honestly don't know how quickly updates will come but i promise i will finish it at some point. quarantine is a drag and this has been sitting in my drafts for way too long so i wanted to get it out there at least lmao

_Somewhere, faraway, two boys race into a field._

_Underneath a sky of stars, hand in hand, they run through the tall grass. Not caring for the dirt on their knees or the sweat on their palms. In that moment, nothing matters to them._

_Except — each other. And tomorrow is yet to come; but there’s no use in worrying about the future._

_No, not tonight. Tonight, they are young and free. And it’s okay, because to them:_

_time has stood still._

_—Excerpt of Poems I Wrote in my Dreams_

"Renjun!" Kun yells.

Renjun groans. _Fuck_ , he thinks, squinting. Bright sunlight filters in from his window. He's probably running late, if Kun stomping up the stairs is any indication. Soon enough, Kun throws his door open. "You're going to be late," he says seriously.

"I know, I know," Renjun mumbles, waving his arm. "I'm getting up." Kun arches an eyebrow. He opens his mouth to say something more when Yangyang speeds into the room. He launches himself onto Renjun's bed and consequently, Renjun himself.

Yangyang bounces up and down on top of him. "Junnie! Get up," he shrieks.

"Get the fuck off of me," Renjun grumbles, shoving Yangyang off.

"Language," Kun warns. "Cereal's on the table."

Luckily, the two of them leave Renjun alone, letting him roll out of bed and be disgruntled by himself.

-

Renjun makes it just in enough time to stop by his locker to pick up his books.

"Hey! Renjun!" Somebody calls. Renjun turns around. It's Mark.

"You still on for tonight?" Mark asks, grinning. His cheeks puff out slightly as he smiles.

"Of course," Renjun answers.

"Awesome," Mark says. He gives Renjun a finger guns before dashing off to class. Renjun chuckles to himself and slams his locker closed. He turns around to start heading to his class himself when he almost rams straight into—

"Renjun!" Jaemin exclaims.

"Jesus!" Renjun yells, almost dropping his notebook. "Why were you hiding behind my locker like that?"

"I wasn't hiding," Jaemin says. "You just didn't notice me. It's not my fault you're oblivious."

"I hate you," Renjun grumbles.

Jaemin pouts. "No, you don't," he says. "You love me." _I do_ , Renjun thinks, but doesn't say it. Jaemin bats his eyelashes, blinking excessively. Renjun purposely frowns even harder.

"No, I don't," he says determinedly.

Jaemin fakes a sob. "H-how could you say that," he cries. He buries his face into his hands. Renjun pats his shoulder stiffly.

"I want to break up," Renjun deadpans.

"Really?" Jaemin pulls his face out of his hands, a wide grin on his face.

"No, dumbass," Renjun snorts. "You're stuck with me." Jaemin laughs, dropping his arms.

The bell rings. Students start to move slowly towards their classes from where they were congregated in the hallway. Jaemin heads off in the opposite direction of Renjun. He throws Renjun a cheesy wink. "See you tonight!" he yells from halfway across the hall. Several students turn to look for who he's talking to. Renjun just rolls his eyes and waves back.

-

"Hey Renjun," Ten greets as Renjun enters the classroom. Ten is Renjun's art teacher. He's Renjun's favorite teacher, and not because Renjun loves art. Ten is younger than most of the other teachers here. And he's approachable. He's been a great advisor to Renjun for both art and life in general. Renjun considers him a friend. He's pretty sure Ten does too. "Hey," Renjun says, sitting down in his usual seat. He wraps the apron around him and goes to grab his painting from where it's sitting.

"We'll just be working on our paintings today," Ten says. "What's new with you?"

Renjun shrugs. "Nothing much. Going over to Mark's house tonight for some games," he says.

"Mark?" Ten says, tilting his head. "He'll be a senior this year, right?" Mark's never taken art. Ten knows some of Renjun's friends by name, but he hasn't met all of them.

"Yeah," Renjun says. "It'll be weird without him here."

"Do you know where he's headed?" Ten asks.

Renjun shrugs in return. People don't usually go far from Winden though. It's hard to leave. "Hopefully not far," he says, and it's selfish, to want Mark to stay. But nonetheless, Renjun does.

"Well, I hope so too," Ten says. "It's always nice to have such close friends." Renjun hums in agreement. The conversation ends there, with more classmates entering the room.

-

"Alright gang," Mark says, grinning widely. "You ready?"

"More than ever," Jaemin says back, a matching grin on his own face. He glances towards Renjun, radiating so brightly it makes Renjun wonder what he did to deserve him.

"Just press ready, you dorks," Donghyuck says.

Jaemin blows a kiss towards Renjun. "May the best couple win," he says, mashing the button.

Chenle makes an overexaggerated gagging motion. "Love is gross," he says, pressing ready as well. "Right, Jisung?" Jisung bobs his head in agreement.

"Let's start," Renjun says, before Donghyuck can even open his mouth to respond. He quickly readies up as well, and then the game starts.

Renjun's lucky Chenle's in his squad. Well, squad is sort of the wrong term. They're a duo playing in squads, but Chenle is worth the two other people. He lets Chenle do the heavy shooting, Renjun preferring to snipe from afar.

To his left, he hears Donghyuck shriek loudly as he's shot at. A few moments later, Renjun hears the telltale death sound from his screen. Donghyuck groans and flops dramatically to the floor. Renjun smirks and keeps moving forwards on his screen.

"We're going to win," Chenle taunts happily.

Jaemin lets out a cry as Renjun mercilessly plows him over with the car he was driving. Jaemin's character is sent flying and dies upon impact on the ground.

"Renjuuuuun," Jaemin wails. Renjun ignores him and focuses on finding wherever the fuck Mark is. Renjun can hear his footsteps somewhere nearby. He just can't determine where. Renjun cautiously opens of the doors.

 _"_ Red house," Chenle whispers. "North 45." Renjun turns. Mark's probably upstairs.

"Where are you?" Renjun asks.

"Roof," is Chenle's answer. Renjun moves into the house at the same time that Chenle leaps over from the roof of the house next door.

"Oh shit," Mark says softly. Jaemin laughs, watching Mark's screen from over his shoulder.

-

Renjun and Chenle win, as expected. And then they win two more rounds, because that's just how good they are.

"I should probably get going," Chenle says afterwards, standing. Jisung quickly stands as well. Chenle glances at him oddly as he coughs.

"I'll walk you home," Jisung says, voice stiff. Jisung and Chenle depart, leaving just the four of them. They stop playing after they leave, forgoing the game in favor of opening a few sodas and chatting.

Donghyuck's an insatiable gossip, and with none other than Jaemin being his information provider. Renjun sometimes listens in on whatever, or more like _whoever_ they're talking about, but mostly he doesn't care about those sorts of things. It's cute to see the two of them get all excited over whether Eunjin is going to ask out her crush or not though.

Jaemin glances at his phone. "Shit," he says. I've got to go." He turns towards Renjun. "Ren, you want to come with?" Jaemin offers. He's already putting on his jacket.

Renjun waves. "I'm okay," he says, lifting his soda can. "See you tomorrow."

Mark's staring at him. "What," Renjun says. He watches as Mark starts chuckling.

"I'm—No, I'm just happy for you two," Mark says, smiling cheekily.  
"Shut up," Renjun mutters, taking another sip of his soda.

"You're cute," Donghyuck says.

"Am not," Renjun protests.

"You're right," Donghyuck amends. "Jaemin's cuter." Renjun barks a laugh.

"Whose boyfriend are you again?" Renjun says.

Donghyuck gasps as if he were offended. "Don't get me wrong, Junnie," he says. "Mark's cute too." This sends Mark into a sputtering fit, much to the amusement of the other two.

-

Donghyuck's only still here since he's staying the night with Mark. It's probably time for Renjun to go home himself.

"I think it's raining," Ms. Lee says, once he gets upstairs. "I heard thunder."

Mark pulls back the curtains. White light flashes, momentarily turning the dark sky bright. "Oh," Mark says, staring out the window. "It's raining out." Renjun shrugs and moves towards the door. He starts pulling on his yellow rain jacket. He's glad he wore it.

"We can give you a ride home," Ms. Lee offers while Renjun stuffs on his boots.

"Be careful, okay?" Mark says, wringing his hands.

"It'll be fine," Renjun says, rolling his eyes. He pulls up his hood on his rain jacket. "It's just a little rain." Mark presses his lips together, but doesn't argue.

"Alright," Ms. Lee says. "Call us if you change your mind, okay?" Renjun nods, and yanks open the door. Cold air blasts into the living room. Renjun can already smell the rain practically. The air is electric and crisp, refreshing Renjun as if a thousand jolts of energy are running through his body. There's something about the air and atmosphere during a storm that makes Renjun love it so much.

"Bye!" Renjun waves, and then steps outside.

-

Renjun doesn't mind being wet. It's torrential outside. The rain is practically slapping Renjun as he walks, but all he can feel is a strange sense of glee. Even though he's wearing his yellow rain coat, he's soaked. His hair is plastered to his forehead. Water drips down the side of his face. His socks are soaked, which isn't pleasant. They squelch as he walks, but somehow, he still doesn't mind.

The air is cool, but somehow Renjun doesn't feel cold, despite being soaked. He could ride his bike home. It would be faster, but Renjun's not a fan of riding while dripping wet. He'd rather walk.

Renjun decides to take the shortcut through the forest. It's quieter in there, rather than choosing to walk along the side of the noisy highway. The forest would be faster. Renjun's house is just on the other side, across the street.

Renjun knows his forest well. He's gone through it for a variety of reasons. This forest encircles Winden, wrapping around it in various parts. The town is half built around it, half built into it. Renjun likes that about Winden. It makes him feel more connected with nature. From the forest, Renjun pretty much knows how to get anywhere in town.

The forest floor is cushioned with pine needles from the trees. It's silent. Renjun continues to push his bike along, leaving a deep gash behind where it moves. The rain isn't so heavy here. The tree leaves stop some of it, giving Renjun a little shelter. Fat drops occasionally drip down from the leaves to land on his coat, but he doesn't mind.

Renjun pauses for a moment to glance upwards, where the sky has long turned dark. Arcs of lighting streak across the sky, followed by faint rumblings. The flashes light up the sky for brief moments, before fading away.

It's beautiful. And dangerous. Renjun shrugs it off. He should be fine here; the trees are taller than him. He keeps moving. His bike creaks as its wheels turn. Renjun should oil it when he gets home.

Renjun's halfway through trying to remember if they still have grease oil left at home when a loud boom cracks above him. Renjun loses his grip on his bike, startled. It clatters to the forest floor. Renjun sighs and bends to pick it back up when he spies something white racing towards him on the reflection of his metal bike handles. Renjun frowns, and turns around.

Time seems to slow down, becoming impossibly slow. Renjun can see every arc of electricity that branches off the bolt coming towards him. He can see the fizz of the air as it crackles around the pure _energy_ that's about to hit him. The rain around him halts, drops of water freezing midair. But Renjun can't move, he can't make his feet run away from the bolt of lightning that's about to hit him. _Oh shit,_ Renjun thinks, before everything turns white.

-

Surprisingly, it doesn't hurt. He—he feels _warm_. Like he's been wrapped in some big fuzzy blanket straight out of the dryer. Renjun stares down at his forearms. They're glowing. Radiating brilliant light, like Renjun is some sort of star. _How odd_ , he thinks. _I must be hallucinating_.

Everything around him is white too. The forest has melted away, leaving nothing behind, just a vast space of empty white. It's like Renjun's standing in a pure white room, with no visible floor or walls.

His vision blurs, the white fading in an out, interspersed with black. It's like watching a flashing screen. Renjun squints, disoriented. His legs shake and give out underneath him. Everything feels unsteady, like the ground is tilting underneath him. He flails wildly for purchase.

Renjun doesn't even feel his head hit the ground.

-

When Renjun wakes up, he's alive. Surprisingly, as everything aches like he got dropped from fifty feet high and hit the ground.

He blinks his eyes open slowly, the world blurring back into view. Above him are the leaves, and then beyond that, clear, blue sky. It's morning.

Renjun groans. His back hurts all over. He must've hit the ground harder than he thought. He sits up slowly, reaching around to rub at it. His rubber coat is still intact.

Did it even happen? Renjun glances around. The forest is still the same as last night. The trees aren't burnt down, and there's no scorch marks around Renjun. _Doesn't lightning set things on fire?_

Beside him is his bike, lying on its side. Renjun stumbles over towards it, picking it up. It's slightly damp still. Kun must be worried out of his mind. Renjun just hopes he hasn't already called the police.

-

Luckily, the police aren't outside his house when he arrives. His bike squeaks as he wheels it into the garage, and places it against the shelves. He unlocks the door and toes off his boots. Kun's figure turns the corner, eyes widening when he sees Renjun.

"Renjun," he says, rushing over towards him. "Where have you been?" He pats Renjun's body all over, examining for injuries that are nonexistent. Even though they shouldn't be. Technically, Renjun should be dead. Right?

"I'm fine," Renjun says. "Just—"  
"What happened?" Kun asks. He touches the side of Renjun's head. Renjun hisses. It stings. "You're bleeding," Kun says. His fingertip comes away from his head stained red at the tip. Renjun frowns. His head feels fine.

"I... am?" Renjun reaches up to touch at it but Kun catches his hand.

"Don't touch it," he says. "What happened?"

"I—I don't know," Renjun answers, truthfully. How on Earth would he describe what happened to Kun? Would Kun even believe him?

-

Kun takes him to the hospital. They check him for injuries, but find nothing besides a mild head trauma. The nurse cleans the wound and bandages it and telling him to be more careful. Kun frets the whole time, flitting about and hovering nearby always.

"You have to be careful," he says, once they're done. "Storms are dangerous."

"Ok," Renjun says. "I will. Next time."

-

Renjun gets the day off from school. He texts the groupchat to let them know that he's still alive. Somehow.

 **_renjun:_ ** _news just in. I'm not dead_

_**hyuck:** where the fuck were u!?!?_

**_renjun:_ ** _mild accident walking home_

 **_renjun:_ ** _im fine tho dw_

_**jaems:** ???? THAT's supposed to make me not worry???_

**_renjun:_ ** _yes_

_**marky:** Well, I'm glad you're okay_

_**chenle:** rt_

**_jisung:_ ** _rt_

 **_renjun:_ ** _jisung don't u have class_

_**hyuck:** yeah jisung, get off ur phone :P_

_**jisung:** tf?! so do u_

**_renjun:_ ** _im injured_

_**jaems:** stop being so cryptic ren..._

_**jaems:** im coming over_

True to his word, Jaemin shows up outside of Renjun's house an hour later, after his class finishes.

"Renjun," Jaemin says, staring horrified at his bandage wrapped head. Renjun thinks it looks slightly ridiculous, and probably makes Jaemin think it's worse than it is. "Your head."

"It's not so bad," Renjun says. "Kun made them do overkill."

"I see," Jaemin says. He doesn't sound totally convinced. "What happened?"

Renjun pauses. "I think I got hit by lightning," he says. He trusts Jaemin. Not that he doesn't trust Kun, but Jaemin's more likely to believe him than Kun. Kun's more likely to send him to a psych eval if he tells him he saw time freeze.

Jaemin frowns. "You think?" he says.

"I'm not sure," Renjun says. "It was like... Time froze for a moment. But... That can't be real, right?"

Jaemin gasps. "What if you got superpowers?" He claps his hands excitedly. "This could be your superhero origin story!"

"I doubt it," Renjun says.

"Anything out of the ordinary?" Jaemin asks, pretending to examine him with an imaginary magnifying glass.

Renjun shakes his head. "No," he says. "I _feel_ mostly fine. A little sore," he admits. "But nothing a few Advil won't fix."

"Hm." Jaemin taps a finger against his chin. "Well, if you do become a badass superhero, let me know. I want to be your sidekick."

"You don't have any powers," Renjun points out.

"No," Jaemin says, not sounding the least bit deterred. "But I can learn like, martial arts or something." Renjun laughs, conjuring up an image of _Jaemin_ learning martial arts. And then his mind promptly decides to come up with various scenarios of Jaemin beating up people. Like, the kind of hot badass warrior shit from the action movies. Oh god, what if he wore—

Renjun coughs, trying to dispel any thoughts of Jaemin in leather. "Right," he says. "I'd like to see you try."

Jaemin perks up. "Is that a challenge?" he asks.  
" _No_ ," Renjun says. He absolutely does not need Jaemin going off and finding some rickety old man to try and teach him karate. He'd probably break his hip in the process. "Absolutely not. As your boyfriend, I forbid it."

Jaemin pouts. "Fine," he says. "But you have to tell me if you develop superpowers."

"I'll keep you in mind when I open up sidekick applications," Renjun teases, even though it's highly unlikely that Renjun is going to somehow develop some superpower. Jaemin's jaw drops in mock offense. Renjun can hear him sputter and start to complain, but his mind is elsewhere.

It's on yesterday night, and how Renjun is sure that time slowed down. Maybe it was a perception of his mind though. Because he can't really have some sort of magical power, because that's for comics and movies. Right?

-

Renjun's allowed by Kun to return to school, as long as he doesn't do anything too exerting. Renjun promises he won't. He has no intention to.

Everyone's glad to see him okay. They all flock him at lunch and gasp at the bandages wrapped around his head. Renjun had convinced Kun to take it down a notch with the bandaging, but it still made Renjun look slightly like a mummy.

"Welcome back," Donghyuck had said, slapping his back. "Glad to see you're not actually dead."

"I said he was fine," Jaemin had said.

"I know," Donghyuck drawled. "I just had to see for myself. Renjun may be _your_ boyfriend, but he's _my_ best friend." Chenle had cackled at that, and it only drew more protests from poor Jaemin.

Renjun felt tense the whole day, like he was waiting for something to happen. He doesn't know _why_ , because the whole idea is ridiculous. But maybe, somewhere deep down inside of him, he'd like to have superpowers.

Not that it really matters anyways, as period by period passed by and nothing unusual at all happened. So Renjun felt safe in scrapping the "superhuman ability" theory.

-

After school ends, Donghyuck walks with Renjun home.

"Want to hear my plan?" Donghyuck asks Renjun while they're walking to his house.

"Plan?" Renjun echoes, blinking.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. "To ask you-know-who to prom," he explains.

"Oh, you mean Mark?" Renjun says, purposely too loud.  
As expected, Donghyuck hurriedly shushes him. "Shut the fuck up," he says, cheeks turning red. "So, my plan. I'm going to stand on a table at lunch, and shout 'Listen up fuckers, here's who I'm going to ask out to prom. And then I'll dump like, a million ping pong balls out of a box that all have Mark's name on them." Donghyuck pauses, in thought. "Or maybe volleyballs, so that you can see the writing on them," he says. "I mean then he'll _have_ to say yes. Right?" Donghyuck jostles his shoulder good naturedly.

"I'm sure," Renjun laughs.

Donghyuck whirls around to face Renjun as he steps onto the road. "It's fool proof," he says. Donghyuck takes a few backwards steps, grinning widely all the meanwhile. Somewhere, a truck horn resounds.

The sound grows closer, as Donghyuck edges further into the empty road. Not many cars drive through Winden. The streets are usually empty, so it's a safe bet. But—

Renjun can hear the rumbling of an engine and the sound of tires over pavement. He barely has time to register the sight as the truck speeds into view.  
"Donghyuck!" Renjun yells, and lunges to grab Donghyuck's jacket. His fingers barely brush the material when Donghyuck stumbles backwards, tripping over nothing. He falls flat onto his back. Donghyuck flails as he tries to get back up, but he never gets the chance to as—

The blare of the truck horn drowns out everything. Renjun can't even see Donghyuck anymore. The truck is still driving, a long mass and blur of moving white paint. Renjun has no idea how to communicate with them that there's a _body_ there. Donghyuck. Donghyuck is under there. Somewhere.

Renjun runs out into the street after its passed. There's no car behind it. The road is empty again. It's just Renjun. And Donghyuck. Renjun almost trips over his legs.

Donghyuck's face is unrecognizable amongst the mess of shards of skull and brain matter. His head is totally crushed. There's no way he's still alive. Not when his head is splattered all over the road in a bloody arc.

Somebody shrieks. High pitched. It jars Renjun out if his trance. His hands shake as he reaches out towards him to—to what? Donghyuck is dead. Very dead.

A car horn blares, tires screeching as they come to a stop before the scene.

“Holy—" somebody swears, slamming a car door.

 _Donghyuck_ , Renjun thinks. Donghyuck is dead. Everything is so loud, the traffic on the road one lane over, people yelling, the sound of tires scraping against the pavement. Renjun needs it to stop. He whimpers as he presses his hands to his head. He squeezes his eyes shut.

"No. No, no, no," he chants. Renjun can feel the grit of the road pressing into his knees as he keels over onto the ground. Something wet starts to seep into his pants, dampening them. It's probably blood. Donghyuck's blood. But Renjun doesn't bother opening his eyes again to check. Because Donghyuck is dead. Donghyuck is _dead_.

And then he isn't.

Renjun opens his eyes, and he’s back on the sidewalk, a slight tugging sensation at the back of his head. Donghyuck's talking about the stupid game. “Right?" And then he jostles Renjun's shoulder, the same way he did five minutes ago. Before he stepped onto the road and died.

“Renjun?” Donghyuck says, stopping. “You okay?” Donghyuck stares at him. Renjun tentatively removes his hands from his head. The road is ... normal. No sign of Donghyuck's body or an accident or—or anything.

“Renjun?” Donghyuck repeats. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he laughs, but voice edged with concern.

 _I have_ , Renjun thinks. _I just saw you die._ “Y-you,” Renjun stammers glancing between the road and Donghyuck. Donghyuck, alive. Donghyuck, who’s staring at him with worry in his eyes. Donghyuck, who was laid out head splattered against the pavement no less than five minutes ago. Renjun was there. He saw it. He’s sure of it.

“Renjun?” Donghyuck says again. “You’re worrying me,” he says.

“Yeah,” Renjun breathes, still staring at the road. “Sorry,” he says. “I just—I thought I saw something.”

“What?” Donghyuck asks.

Renjun shrugs. “Doesn’t matter,” he says. He slings an arm around Donghyuck's shoulder. "Let’s cross,” he says. Renjun glances both ways before safely guiding them across the street.

“Okay?” Donghyuck says, confusedly.

Only when they are a few blocks away from the street does Renjun finally relax.

-

Renjun's shaken when he gets home. He just saw Donghyuck _die_. And then he was fine.

Time had... rewound. Renjun's sure. Renjun lived the timeline where Donghyuck got ran over, and then time went back. It gave Renjun a second chance. It wasn't some foresight dream. It had been _real_. Renjun had felt it in the way the road scraped against his pants and the stench of blood from Donghyuck.

"Did something happen at school?" Kun asks, worry evident in his tone.

"No," Renjun says, even though his voice shakes as he speaks and his hands are trembling as he unpacks his bag. "It was fine," he says tightly.

"Are you—"  
"I'm _fine_ ," Renjun emphasizes. Kun steps back slightly, taken aback at his tone.

"Renju—"

"I'm going to my room to do homework," Renjun says. He can hear Kun calling him back, but he ignores him and slams his bedroom door shut behind him.

He just needs to be alone for a moment to process. Renjun flings his school things onto his bed and pulls at his hair.

Rewind. What happened.

Donghyuck stepped onto the road. The truck flattened him. Renjun... It must've been him, right? Renjun saw time slow down when he got hit by lightning. Renjun was there when time rewound. And Donghyuck didn't remember anything.

So, Renjun rewound time. And then Renjun saved Donghyuck from his potential death. Right, because that made total sense.

Renjun began to think that Jaemin's superpower theory might not be totally wrong.

-

 **_renjun:_ ** _we need to talk_

_**jaemin:** ok_

**_renjun:_ ** _diner @ 12?_

_**jaemin:** sure_

Jaemin was punctual. He had this tense expression on his face. Maybe he was worried that Renjun was going to break up. Renjun admits that "we need to talk" maybe wasn't the best choice, but it conveyed his urgency.

"You're not in trouble," Renjun says as soon as he sits. Jaemin doesn't answer, just patiently waits for him to continue. "I—remember your superpower theory?"

" _That's_ what you wanted to talk about?" Jaemin says.

Renjun bites his lip. "Kind of," he says. "It's going to sound crazy, but..." Renjun lowers his voice and leans forward. "I think I _have_ superpowers."

"What?" Jaemin snorts. "You _do_ know I was just kidding, right?"

Renjun rolls his eyes and slaps his arm lightly. "I know," he whispers. "But something—something happened yesterday while I was walking home with Donghyuck. It was like time _rewound_." Renjun leaves out the gory detail. No need for Jaemin to be traumatized as well.

Jaemin hums in thought. "Well, if you really can rewind time," he says. "We can prove it."

"How?" Renjun says.

"Do it now," Jaemin says.

"I don't know if I could. Even so, it wouldn't prove anything because _you_ wouldn't remember it," Renjun says flatly.

"I'm going to show you something," Jaemin says. He pulls a receipt from the local grocery store from his jeans pocket. "Remember this," he says. "And then when you rewind time have me ask you what was on this receipt. There's no way you could've known unless you had time rewinding powers or whatever."

"Huh," Renjun says. Jaemin's right. It's a pretty smart idea. _If_ Renjun can do it in the moment. "Smart," he says, because he can't help the compliment. Jaemin smiles prettily.

"Do you want me to 'go to the bathroom'?" Jaemin asks.

"Maybe," Renjun says. Jaemin stands and presses a kiss to the top of his forehead.

"I'll see you fifteen minutes before," Jaemin says. Renjun shakes his head at his retreating back. Dork.

Now alone, Renjun _really_ has to do it. Or else it's going to be embarrassing if he's still sitting here when Jaemin returns. He needs to think. What was he doing when it happened?

He was crossing the street. Donghyuck got run over. He died. Renjun ran over to him. He was panicking. _So a probable emotional trigger,_ Renjun notes. What else does he remember feeling?

Something was tugging at him. Or maybe he was tugging at something? Renjun closes his eyes. He needs to pull. There's—there's _something_ there. In the back of his mind, lurking at the very corners, just out of sight. Renjun grabs it and _pulls._

There's a knock at the door.

Renjun almost falls off the couch. He peers towards the bathroom. Is Jaemin still there? Or is that Jaemin at the door?

Jaemin's face is tense. Renjun steps aside to allow him in, slightly awestruck still by the fact that it _worked_.

"You're not in trouble," Renjun repeats. Jaemin doesn't answer. Again. Renjun sighs. "Remember your superpower theory?"

" _That's_ what you wanted to talk about?" Jaemin says.

"Yeah," Renjun says. "I have time rewinding powers." _Best to just cut to the chase._ "You asked me to prove it, by showing me a receipt in your pocket and asking me to rewind time."

Jaemin's face flashes in surprise. "What did I buy?" he asks.

"Chips. 4.99. And a chocolate bar. 2.99" Renjun recites. Good thing he remembered. Jaemin takes a moment to fish the receipt out of his pocket. He stares at it for a second, before whistling.

"Wow," he says.

"You... believe me?" Renjun asks.

Jaemin looks up at him. "Of course," he says, smiling. "It's fucking awesome."

-

Jaemin practically begs him to do more "tricks" with his newfound powers. Renjun supposes it couldn't hurt to practice a little, lest anything like earlier happen. Renjun still can't quite process that Donghyuck _died_. Donghyuck was dead. And then he wasn't.

Renjun just needs to make sure something like that never happens again.

So he trains. Jaemin tells him all sorts of funny phrases or unique words for him to memorize, and then asks him to rewind. Renjun does. And every time it gets a little bit easier. It gets a little bit easier to reach out to those strands in the back of his mind and pull them. To finesse them to the exact moment he wants. He still can't go back too far yet. Somewhere around an hour is currently his limit. Jaemin's very cautious about pushing him. He claims he doesn't want him to get headaches or those freakish nosebleeds all the superheroes do when they overdo it in TVs and movies.

Life seems on an upwards track. Renjun has _superpowers_. It's kind of amazing.

And then it starts.

-

The next day occurs like any other. Jaemin and Renjun practice a bit in the morning. He still hasn't worked up the courage to tell the others yet. Renjun will do it at some point. He just... needs time. He doesn't think he can face Donghyuck and tell him what happened. Maybe he never will tell him. It might be better that way.

"Renjun," Jisung says. "Can you help me with math?" Right. The upcoming test on Monday.

"Sure," he says. "Library?"

"After school?" Jisung flashes a thumbs up. "Mark?" Jisung asks. "Chenle?"

Chenle waves him off. "I'm good," he claims.

Mark sighs. "I promise Donghyuck I'd help him with his English tonight." Donghyuck sticks out his tongue at Jisung. "Sorry."

"'English'?" Renjun air quotes. Donghyuck kicks him.

"I could stay too, if you want," Jaemin says.

"You don't have to," Renjun says. "Math is boring as hell."

"You sure?" Jaemin asks. Renjun nods. He doesn't think it'll take too long. "Just stay safe then," he says. "Don't stay out too late."

Renjun frowns. "Why?"

"You haven't heard?" Jaemin says. He shakes his head. The rest of them do similar. "Remember the girl who went missing a few weeks ago?" Renjun does, vaguely. He didn't know her well but it was big news for Winden. Things like that, kidnapping, murder, just don't happen here that often. "They found her body today."

"Shit," Donghyuck whispers.

A group of girls pass by in a tight cluster, all of them wearing all black. Mourning. A few of them keep their head low. Renjun thinks he can see tear tracks running down their face.

"It must be so hard for them," Mark says, staring at them. "I can't imagine what it would be like."

Beside him, Chenle swallows hard. "Me neither," he says softly, picking at his lunch. Jisung reaches out a comforting hand to Chenle, who readily takes it.

"Yeah," Donghyuck echoes, shifting in his seat.

The rest of lunch passes in an uncomfortable silence. No doubt everybody is thinking about what if it was one of them. Renjun thinks that everyone else is probably thinking the same thing, if the dead silence in the usually chatter full cafeteria is anything to go by.

-

Renjun starts packing his things after he decides he's done enough research for the night. The library is long abandoned, Jisung and Renjun being the only people left in the building. Renjun is friendly with the librarian. She trusts them enough to let them stay alone past closing. Renjun's used it often as a study place, or just somewhere to getaway for some quiet. "You ready to go?" Renjun asks.

"Nah," Jisung says. "I'm gonna stay here,"

Renjun frowns. "You sure?" he asks. He glances at his watch. It's almost 11:30 PM. "It's pretty late."

Jisung bobs his head. "I know, I know," he says, waving off Renjun. "I'll head home soon."

“Tsk,” Renjun says. “Look at you, so studious.” He stands. “You sure you don't want me to stay with you?” he says. Jisung just glares at him.

"I'll be fine," he insists.

“Alright. I'm gonna head home. Text me when you leave, okay?”

Jisung waves. “See you,” he says, barely looking up from the textbook. Renjun chuckles on his way out. Jisung’s grown up so much. Look at him now, staying late in the library to study rather than head home and play games. Renjun should be more like that, but he couldn't bring his brain to keep going.

He heads home and collapses into bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Renjun wakes up to the sound of screaming.

Not an unusual sound, being in a family with rowdy siblings. Renjun groans and rolls over, swinging his feet off the bed. He turns on his phone. It's 10:12AM. He has about a billion text notifications from the group chat, also not unusual. Renjun doesn't bother reading them yet. He'll do that during lunch today. Or if it's something urgent, they'd call him or text him individually.

"Morning," Renjun greets. Kun's at the stove, cooking pancakes.

"Morning," Kun says, not turning around. He flips the pancake effortlessly.

Yangyang is already eating at the table. His pancakes are drenched in maple syrup. "Hey," Yangyang says, cheeks bulging from pancakes.

"Swallow your food," Renjun says. He sits down beside him and takes a few pancakes for himself. Yangyang does a very obvious show of swallowing, before immediately refilling his mouth. "Where's Xiaojun?"

"Went to Hendery's house," Kun answers.

"Ah," Renjun says. Xiaojun's been hanging out with him a lot recently.

"How's Jaemin?"

"Your boyfriend!" Yangyang exclaims.  
"Yes," Renjun sighs. For some reason anytime Jaemin's mentioned Yangyang feels the need to remind everybody in the nearby vicinity that Renjun and Jaemin are dating. "Jaemin, my boyfriend. You don't need to announce it every time I say his name."

Yangyang sticks out his tongue at him.

Renjun's phone rings. It's Jaemin. He picks up.

"Is it Jaemin?" Yangyang asks. Renjun doesn't bother answering him. "Hi Jaemin!" he yells anyways. Renjun rolls his eyes.

"What's up?" he says.

"Renjun? We've been trying to get hold of you forever," Jaemin says, sounding slightly out of breath.

"Sorry, I slept in kinda. What's going on?"

Jaemin doesn't answer immediately. "Can you come over to Mark's?" he says instead.

"Sure?" Renjun says. "Is everything okay?"

"Not really," Jaemin laughs, edging on hysterical. "It'll be easier to explain in person though."

-

Mark yanks the door open with such force Renjun almost can't believe it's him.

"What's going on?" Renjun asks. "You guys are freaking me out."

"Have you heard from Jisung?" Chenle asks anxiously. He's tapping his foot a million miles an hour.

Right. Jisung was supposed to text him. Renjun pulls out his phone and starts sorting through the millions of notifications he got. Most of them are from the group chat. A lot of them are directed at the others, asking them to wake up, or to contact Jisung or Renjun.

"He never came home last night," Donghyuck continues. "His mom's going crazy."

Jisung's mom must've called Donghyuck's. His heart pounds as he reaches the end. Out of the millions of notifications he received from the group chat, zero of them are from Jisung. There is a sole message, private, that reads:

**_jisung_** _:_ _hfs_

His heart sinks. His hands feel cold, and shaky. There's no way this could be happening. Jisung missing. A random text from him, around 12 AM, with no decipherable real meaning beyond that Jisung possibly couldn't finish it before whatever— _whoever_ —got him stopped him.

"We—we need to go to the police," Renjun says.

"Did he text you?" Mark asks.

Renjun shows them. Jaemin looks close to tears. Chenle's not far behind.

"Fuck," Jeno swears.

-

Ms. Park cries as Renjun tells the police all he knows. He hands over his phone, for them to look through. The others are also taken in for questioning. Where were they last night? When did they last hear from Jisung? Did they think Jisung ran away?

By the time they're finished, they're all exhausted and drained. And yet, they can't seem to stop moving. They have to do _something_. Jeno proposes they search the forest by Mark's house. As they trudge out in the thick of trees, Renjun isn't sure if he's prepared to see another body.

"Jisung!" Renjun yells into the forest. He shines his flashlight around.

"Jisung!" Chenle shrieks. "This—this isn't funny!" Renjun bites his lip and points his flashlight everywhere he could think of to look for Jisung. Or a dead body.

"Jisung!" Jaemin's voice echoes from Renjun's right. He and Donghyuck are a little further ahead, but Renjun can still occasionally see glimpses of their flashlights shining through the foliage.

None of them stray too far from each other. Always cautious to be in sounding range and keep a close eye of the lights of their flashlights. Chenle clutched at Donghyuck's arm the whole time, as if he were afraid he would disappear too.

They continue to search until the sun starts to peak up and over the rolling hills in the distance.

-

Life continues. In the oddest ways, it does. School days roll on by and every morning Renjun still wakes up in the morning to Kun and Yangyang shouting about something. It's like nothing has changed, and yet somehow everything has. Jaemin hasn't shown up for their morning sessions in a bit. Renjun didn't really expect him to. Everyone is quiet. Withdrawn. The shockwaves of Jisung's disappearance hitting them all hard.

Jaemin catches him after math class. The test Jisung was studying so hard for is done now. And Jisung isn't here.

"Renjun," he says, reaching out. Renjun allows him to cling to his hand. "Let's go outside."

They walk. There's an old tree right by the school border. It's a nice place for more private conversations. It's also a popular hookup spot. But they're in luck, today there's no other teenagers there sucking face.

"How are you doing?" Renjun asks. It's a false pretense. Jaemin looks like shit. Renjun's willing to bet he looks like shit too.  
Jaemin laughs. "I don't know," he answers. "How—How's training going? I haven't shown up."

"Yeah," Renjun says. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry," Jaemin says, wilting slightly.

Renjun shakes his head. "I don't blame you," he says. "It's been hard."

"H-how long can—"

"Not enough." Renjun knows where he's going with this.

"I know it's selfish," Jaemin says. He sniffles slightly before reaching up with a tissue to wipe at his nose. "But god, I wish you could rewind and prevent this all from happening."

Renjun wishes desperately he could too. "I know," he says, voice hoarse.

-

Renjun pushes the limits of his powers daily. He rewinds during class. Answers every single question correctly just because he can. He rewinds when he gets home. Avoids all of Kun's worrying and prying questions. He rewinds at night, just to watch the hours tick by again.  
 _Control is key,_ Renjun tells himself. He needs to get better. He _needs_ to get better. In the back of his mind, ever present is Jisung's disappearance. The niggling thought that maybe, just maybe, he could rewind enough and bring Jisung back.

-

Renjun calls Donghyuck. It's easier. An invisible barrier between them via the phone makes it easier to work up his courage.

"You called?" he says.

"I need to tell you something," Renjun says. "And I'm—I'm not joking. This is real."

"Okay?" Donghyuck says, a hint of nerves creeping into his voice. "Don't tell me you killed somebody, Jun."

"I have a superpower," Renjun says. Donghyuck laughs. "I can rewind time."

"I know you said you weren't joking, but how am I supposed to believe that?" he says.

Blink. Tug. Pull.

"I need to tell you something," Renjun says again. "And I'm not joking. This is real."

"Okay?" Donghyuck says. "Don't—"

"Tell me you killed somebody, Jun. Right?" Renjun completes for him. "I have a superpower," he says. "I can rewind time."

This time Donghyuck doesn't laugh. "Renjun," he says.

"I know it sounds crazy," Renjun says. "But I need you to believe me."

"... You sure your power isn't mind reading?" Donghyuck asks, half joking.

Renjun almost laughs. "Donghyuck," he says. "I'm serious." Donghyuck's silent. "I can't force you to believe me, obviously. But please. I need your help."

The phone clicks off.

-

Donghyuck shows up at his house not five minutes later.

"I don't understand," he says.

"It's complicated," Renjun says in lieu of explaining how he got hit by lightning once and saw time freeze he thinks but he's not quite sure yet still?

Donghyuck exhales, frustrated, and runs a hand through his hair. "What did you want me to do?"

"Remember when we were walking back from school?" Renjun starts. "You... told me your plan for asking Mark to prom." Donghyuck cracks a smile.

"Yeah," he says. "You were acting weird."

"I saw you die," Renjun says. "You—you tripped out onto the street and then a truck ran you over."

"Renju—"  
"I'm not—I'm not _crazy_ ," Renjun insists. And god, he hates how Donghyuck is looking at him. "It was real," he whispers.

Donghyuck bites his lip. "Obviously I don't remember that but... I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to experience that." Donghyuck sits down on the bed beside him. "Can you... Tell me about it?"

-

Donghyuck believes him, in the end.

"It's hard to accept," he admitted. "But I trust you." Renjun's eternally grateful. He did make him promise not to tell the others yet. Renjun also thought about asking Ten, and what he would do. But in the end, he decided it would be inappropriate. They may be close but they're still teacher and student. Ten is also his teacher. Not just his best friend like Jeno, or Donghyuck, or any of the others.

The school held an assembly for Jisung the other day to allow students to grieve and pray for him or whatever. The whole time Renjun couldn't help but think " _I could've done something. I could've saved him_." If only he had stayed. If only he had been stronger.

Jaemin tells him it's no good to think that way. If he stayed, he could've gone missing too. probably right, but even with his short rewinds he could've found a way to outsmart them. He could've rewound the seconds a dozen times until they escaped. And then Jisung would still be _here_.

Donghyuck doesn't bring it up. He doesn't ask him " _Why didn't you do something?_ " He doesn't blame him. He isn't angry at Renjun for not saving him or trying harder. Renjun almost wishes he was. Donghyuck's anger would be simpler, instead of the silent grief they all bear.

"How are you guys all holding up?" Ten asks.

Renjun exhales. "We're not," he says. Ten places a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

"I'm really sorry," he says. "I'm praying they find him soon. It must be so hard."

Renjun doesn't really have a response for that. Ten seems to understand he doesn't want to talk about it anymore, and doesn't pry. That class, he paints his cloud of emotions onto the canvas until it's a mottled mess of distorted shapes and colors.

-

In history class, Renjun passes Jaemin a note with _I'm going to call in a favor_ written on it.

Jaemin pokes him not a minute later. "What favor?" he whispers.

"Private detectives," Renjun whispers back.

The police can't do shit, due to lack of experience and practice given that nothing ever happens. And then when it does, they're sorely underprepared. When people go missing here, nobody believes they'll come back. Not unless they've run away. The police are more useful when finding bodies, not living people. Renjun doesn't expect the police to find Jisung. At least, not in time.

"What?" Jaemin almost shouts. "How do you even know them? And why do they owe you?"

Renjun shushes him. "It's complicated. But I have to try at least." Renjun's grip tightens on the pencil he's holding. Not that he's writing anything down.

"It's not dangerous?" Renjun just shoots him a glare. "Just don't do anything stupid," Jaemin hisses. "Be careful okay?" Renjun can distantly make out their teacher asking in background "What year did the French Revolution begin?"

He only starts to reply when the teacher calls his name.

"Renjun?" The teacher snaps. Everything comes back to focus. Renjun doesn't answer. He hasn't cracked open a textbook since Jisung disappeared. "Have you been paying attention?"

Renjun stares mutely at his desk.

"Seungwan," the teacher says. "Answer please."

"1789,"Seungwan recites.

"Correct," the teacher says.  
Just a tug. Seconds. Not minutes. Not hours. Refine. Control.

"Renjun?" The teacher snaps.

"1789," Renjun mumbles. The teacher is surprised, but moves on.

"Correct," they say.

-

Renjun has a card. _J &J_, it reads. The name of the firm. Renjun knows the two of them from family matters. They're good friends of Kun's. And if Kun trusts them, then Renjun can trust them.

They've got a small office building between Winden and the next town over. Renjun had to ask Kun to drive him there, which he wasn't thrilled about but Kun surprisingly didn't ask too many questions.

"Hi," the receptionist says, voice mechanical. "How may I help you?"

"I'm here about a case?" Renjun says, leaning onto the tall desk.

"Yes," she drones. "Take a seat." Renjun glances towards the waiting area, full of people. Desperate people, all people with cases like Renjun's. Cases about missing lovers, missing friends, pets, anything. In small towns, an awful lot of shit happens that's covered up by a pretty facade.

"I'm a friend," Renjun says. "Call Jaehyun, tell him it's Renjun."

The receptionist gives him a look. People have probably tried this before, to get ahead of the line. She rolls her eyes, but picks up the phone. She punches each number with more force than necessary. She holds the phone up to her ear as it rings. "There's a Renjun here?" she drawls. "Says he's a friend." Renjun can't hear what Jaehyun says, only the vague impression of his voice on the other end. "Alright," she mutters. She places the phone back into its holder, and then looks up at Renjun. "Go on up," she says.

-

"Renjun!" Jaehyun greets warmly, standing and then leaning to pull Renjun into a half-armed hug. "Good to see you. Well, I mean," Jaehyun hums. "Not if you're here for a case, but you know what I mean?"

"Yeah," Renjun says. "I know."

"Now," Jaehyun says, more serious. "What's going on?"

"My friend," Renjun says. "Jisung. He went messing last night."

"Last night?" Jaehyun asks.

"He never came home."

Jaehyun hums. "You're sure he didn't run away?"

Renjun nods, and does his best not to bristle. "He texted me gibberish around 12AM. I think something must've happened." He shows Jaehyun the text.

"Where was he?"

"School library. On his way home." Renjun details Jisung's address to him. Jaehyun scribbles this all down.

"We'll look into it," Jaehyun says. "But, I always say this, I can't promise anything."

Renjun swallows. "Of course."

Jaehyun gives him a wan smile. "We'll do our best though.

-

Jaehyun calls him back two days later to tell him it's a cold trail. Renjun's hands are trembling violently through the call, and he can barely hold back crying.

"I'm sorry Renjun," Jaehyun says. And he really does sound sorry. "But we couldn't find anything. There's just simply not anything pointing to where he could've been taken. We asked the residents around the area, and nobody saw or heard anything. There aren't any security cameras or witnesses that have come forward. By now, he could be anywhere. Hell, he could be halfway across the country."

Renjun takes a shaky breath in. And then out. "So you're giving up?" he says, voice sounding smaller than he would've liked it.

Jaehyun sighs. "I'm saying we've done all we could."


	3. Chapter 3

"Have you spoken to the Parks lately?" Kun asks over dinner.

"No," Renjun says.

Kun sighs. "You should reach out to them," he says. "It must be so hard." Hard. That's what everyone's calling it. Renjun thinks it's a lot more than "hard." For once, Yangyang doesn't crack a joke at Renjun's expense.

"I'll drop by tomorrow," he says.

Out of the corner of his eye, he catches Yangyang trying to sneak an extra potato off his plate. He bats his hand away.

-

"Renjun." It's Ms. Park who answers the door. She looks tired, and overwrought, but pleasant surprise colors her when she sees him. "It's good to see you."

"And you," Renjun says.

The pictures of Jisung strewn across their living room and hallways are just painful to look at now. Renjun tries not to stare as they move to sit on the kitchen isle. Ms. Park wordlessly pours him a cup of tea and passes it to him.

"How are your parents?" she asks.

"Fine," Renjun answers. Kun seems okay. But then again, he always does. Tries to put on a brave face for him and Yangyang. Renjun knows he must be worried as hell about Renjun. And what might happen if someone else disappears.

Ms. Park sighs. "I'm glad," she says. "I know it must be so awful for you and the others."

 _It must be even more awful for you_ , he thinks. "None of us are alone at least," he says instead.

Ms. Park hums in agreement. "I'm sure Kun must be worried about us," she says. "Everyone in town has been..." She trails off and presses her lips together. "Very forward, in their concern. And we appreciate it, we do. But it's just...."

"... Suffocating?" Renjun tries. Ms. Park smiles and nods.

"It's hard," is all she says next. Ms. Park's eyes flicker downwards, towards her cup. She opens her mouth as if to say something more when the phone rings. Loud and clear from the bedroom area.

"Excuse me," Ms. Park stands and races over to pick up the phone. She presses the speaker button. "Hello? she says.

"Is this Ms. Park?" a man's voice says. Renjun recognizes his voice. It's Doyoung. From the police station.

"Yes," Ms. Park says. "This is she."

"Ms. Park, you had asked us to call you to update you about your son's case," he says.

Renjun wishes she would switch the phone off speaker, but he doesn't think she can. She's frozen in place. Her hands have started to shake violently. She grabs at one, holding it in place. "Yes," she replies finally, swallowing.

"There was a body found at the river bank," he says. "We're running a DNA scan right now.

"We can't just come identify it?" Ms. Park asks, confused. Renjun stands up from where he was sitting on their kitchen stools. It feels wrong to be here. Like he's intruding on something private.

"No," he says. "Ji—the body is, well, it's missing its head."

Ms. Park gasps as if she were the one wounded, bringing a hand to cover her mouth. "Oh my—" She grips the counter for support, knuckles turning white. "Please contact us as soon as you can," she says weakly.

"Will do," he says before clicking off. Ms. Park lets the phone slide out of her hand. It clatters onto the counter.

"Ms. Park?" Renjun says tentatively. _Should he go? Or stay and comfort her?_ "Thank you for the tea," he says. Ms. Park nods, still not looking up from where she has her head bowed down towards the floor.

"Renjun," she says. "Do you think... Do you think that I was a good mother?" She looks up at him, eyes red rimmed. "To Jisung?" She says, lower lip trembling.

 _She's preparing herself for the body already_ , Renjun realizes. "Yes," he answers. "The best he could've asked for." Ms. Park sobs, keeling over from the force. And then she lets out a long wail. Her cries fill the room.

The noise attracts her husband from where he was working upstairs. "What's happening?" he says, upon seeing Ms. Park and Renjun. "What happened?" he repeats, more desperate.

"My baby boy," Ms. Park sobs. "My—"

"What happened?" Mr. Park storms over. His eyes are wide as he grabs Renjun's shoulders. "What happened to my Jisung?" he cries.

Renjun shakes his head. "The station called," he says slowly. "They found a body."

Mr. Park chokes back a cry. "They don't know if it's him yet," he says.

"It—it might not be," Mr. Park manages out. "It could be..." he trails off, looking sicker and sicker by the moment.

"Jisung," Ms. Park wails. "I'm so sorry."

-

Renjun doesn't tell the others about the phone call. How could he? Besides, he doesn't know if it's Jisung yet. It could be somebody else. _Who else could it be_ , his mind sneers. _Nobody else has gone missing from this town._

 _It could be from a town over_ , Renjun argues. You never know. Jisung could still be alive. Jisung could still be alive.

The more he repeats it, the less sure he is of its truth.

He doesn't see Ms. Park again until afterwards.

-

Jaemin worries.

"You're hiding something," he says bluntly. Renjun almost rolls his eyes. Despite how well he thinks he's holding it together, leave it to Jaemin to see right through him. "I'm not going to force you to tell me," he continues, and Renjun knows he won't. "But just know I'm here for you, okay? We're all here."

Renjun smiles and presses a kiss to his hand. _I love you,_ he thinks, but doesn't say. They haven't said the drastic _L_ word yet. Logically, he knows he could. Jaemin would probably shout it back at him. And then they could be even more disgustingly sappy in front of their friends. But he's just... A little scared maybe. Anxiety is a bitch, and Renjun doesn't want to fuck things up. And Jaemin already has a whole pile of issues and stress right now and Renjun doesn't need to add the pressure of making him think whether or not he's ready to say it back. (Although the chance that he would instantly is high.)

Beside him, Jaemin smiles back and squeezes his hand.

-

The Parks send out funeral invitations the next day. The card is plain. None of the ornaments or decorations usually seen. Simple white background with plain black text. _Tuesday 5-7PM_ , it reads.

Kun wraps him into a warm hug when Renjun reads it. "I'm so sorry Jun," he says. Renjun can't even bring himself to cry in that moment. He knew. He already knew. But the truth hit like a smack to the face. And Renjun feels numb. His skin prickles with Kun's touch. It's warm. Renjun's nerves feel wide open. Like something too sensitive is exposed to the air. His heart is on fire.

He doesn't know to express any of that without breaking down, so he hugs Kun back as tight as he can.

-

The funeral is packed. People from school Jisung never even really interact with, friends brought their families, and their families and brought their friends. There's a scant few reporters from the local news skirting the edges of the crowd.  
"He was so good," Ms. Park blubbers, snot dribbling down her face. "He was—" she keels over from the force of her sobs. Her husband rushes to support her. He wraps a gentle arm around her and looks up at Renjun.

Renjun doesn't meet his gaze. There's a lump in his throat that won't seem to go away, no matter how hard he swallows. Mr. Park escorts his wife to a nearby chair. Despite the heavy rain, nobody moves to go inside.

Renjun hears soft footsteps on the grass beside him. Jaemin comes into his side view a moment later.

"Renjun," he murmurs. "Are you okay?"

Renjun sighs and glances up at the sky, where the clouds are grey and the sun is hidden. Rain rolls down his face as his umbrella tips back, starting to allow the front of his nice suit to become soaked. "I don't know," he whispers hoarsely.

Weather is a funny thing, isn't it? For funerals, it always seems it reflects something. It can rain, and you'd feel like it's a reflection of your emotions. Or it's sunny, and you feel it reflects the contrast of the situation, how life always churns on versus how it hasn't for one person. But in reality, it's neither. It's just the way it always is. The weather is always either rainy or sunny. You just notice it more sometimes than others.

"I know," Jaemin replies, his gaze on the Park family. Renjun spots Jisung's brother amongst them, eyes red but no tears on his face. Not that anybody could tell from all the rain. Everyone is half soaked from the rain, half damp from their own tears.

It's a rainy day.

-

Renjun later learns that he can remove himself from time, in essence. He can literally step outside of the timeline. All it takes is a little concentration on the flow of time, and then he has to take a step _beyond_ it.

He discovered it by accident. He was going to the bathroom when he tripped and flew a couple steps. He felt his world shift slightly, as if everything were now slightly to the left. It felt different, but nothing looked different. So, he brushed it off and went to the bathroom.

Renjun returned to his room and continued where he left off with his homework. Until Kun called up the stairs to ask if he wanted a snack.

"Renjun!" Kun yelled. "I'm slicing some apples. Do you want any?"

"No thanks!" Renjun yelled back, not bothering to stop writing.

"Renjun?" Kun calls again. "Did you hear me?"

"No thanks!" Renjun repeats, this time louder. Kun doesn't call for him again, but Renjun hears him start to walk up the stairs. Renjun groans. Why didn't he hear him? Kun wasn't _that_ deaf.

"Renjun?" Kun says, opening his door.

"I said I didn't want any," Renjun says, slightly annoyed at his intrusion.

But Kun doesn't even react. Renjun watches as Kun's eyes flick over him, as if he weren't there at all. _He can't see me_ , Renjun realizes.

"Kun?" Renjun says. He waves a hand. "I'm right here." Kun doesn't respond, not hearing him at all. He frowns before closing the door to Renjun's room.

"Holy shit," Renjun whispers.

-

It took him some time to figure out how to insert himself _back_ into time so that people could see him. Renjun's not so sure on this theory, but he thinks that if he stayed outside the flow forever, he could be immortal. Because when he's not _in_ the timeline, time doesn't seem affect him. So theoretically, Renjun could be immortal if he wanted.

And it's a great way to spy on the police. Renjun slips outside and walks straight into the police department. Nobody bats an eye.

He's actually never been inside, so it takes a few tries wandering around the hallways to find the right room. While walking, he finds two large double doors. The plaque above it reads _Morgue_. Inside, Renjun can see the stereotypical rows of body containers and metal trays.

He shivers. He shouldn't go in there. He has no reason to. Jisung is dead. Not buried quite yet, as the police are still running analysis on his body. There'll be nothing in there but pain for him, Renjun knows.

But he hesitates anyways as he walks past.

The room he seeks is one hallway down and to the left. It's one of the detective's rooms and would contain any information the police had collected on Jisung's disappearance and murder, as well as leads to who might have been behind it. The desk has quite a lot of papers on it. But there's nobody in the room, so Renjun can take his time. He sorts through them until he finds a few sheets and a notebook.

Renjun cracks it open.

It basically reads that nobody saw anything, and nobody knows anything. Exactly what Jaehyun had told him. Besides the obvious, there's only a few details about the state of Jisung's corpse that makes Renjun feel sick to think about.

The sheets are the results of some bloodwork and DNA tests. Renjun doesn't know enough science to understand what they mean. It's all just large numbers and random graphs to him.

It's... practically devoid of any _real_ information that could be of use to him. Renjun wants to scream. He resists the urge to fist his hair and rip it out just to feel _something_ other than this indescribable anger. Jisung is dead. And he has nothing.

He leaves the police station feeling even more helpless than before.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading <3 pls leave a kudo/comment if u enjoyed!


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